Jabba the Hutt’s Plumbing Problems

When you are a 15 foot long, extremely fat Slug and Gangster lord you might expect a certain amount of issues when dealing with your waste. Add to that you host a gang of wildly different species at the palace plus a mythical beast hidden in the basement that is fed on a diet of people that you don’t like, and foolishly pop round you could have problems. If there was an issue with your plumbing system one imagines that a hotline would need to be installed.

“Hello, Space port Mos Gloucester Emergency Plumber service, Erinn Zalenga speaking. How can I help you?”

“Oh, uh Hello Erinn, yes its Bib Fortuna here up at Jabba’s Palace. `Fraid we’ve got a bit of an issue with the old pipes again…”

“Oh dear, has Mr The Hutt eaten one of those frogs in a glass bowl again? Did it not agree with him? To save time you could just go on our website at http://www.hprservicesltd.com/emergency-plumber-gloucester/”.

“Yes, yes that’s it. He’s got a bit of party coming up soon and there’s a lot of the lad’s in this week so the loos not working doesn’t bear thinking about. The Rancor’s had a bit of a feed too, eaten one of his green dancers so it did. Cost a fortune in replacing them so it does. The Dance studio has said their refusing to send anymore. Luckily, he’s taken a shine to this Rebel Princess, she’s really not happy with the outfit…

“Oh, he’s not put her in that gold two piece, has he?” said a sympathetic Erinn

“That’s the one. She can’t even dance! Anyway, you know what the Masters “business” is like and combine that with the Rancors output we’ll be knee deep in it within a few parsec’s I can tell you! He’s got loads of the lads round as well at the moment, got this problem with a Jedi…”

“Oh no. I think my cousin had that. Nasty. Too many frogs as well I seem to recall” interrupted Erinn remembering her training to engage with the customer.

“No, it’s not that he’s this space wizard, reckons he can do some magic or something. I’m not convinced by it to be honest, I’d like to see him try and psych me out”

“Well done Mr Fortuna you show him. Right then I’ll get on to this straight away. Andy! Andy love! Can you pop over to Mr The Hutt’s the palace? Seems they’ve got a bit of problem with the water system again.

Andy looks aghast. He does not need this on a Friday afternoon. Not for the first time he wished he was in a galaxy far, far away.

“You tell that, what did Mr Solo say? Ah, that’s it, slimy piece of worm ridden filth I’m not coming out on a Friday after hours for him or anyone else!”

“Um. Andy’s on another job at the moment Mr Fortuna”, say’s a slight shocked Erinn.

“Ok. Not to worry, well just get the excess pipe set up to the Sarlacc Pit. It’ll love that. Call you Monday!”


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